so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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