Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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