the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
