it hurts more in the daytime
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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