I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
