You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize