Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
