I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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