So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
