Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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