Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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