i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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