It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
