Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
