I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sorry my hands just texted you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
