so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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