I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
