I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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