Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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