i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
