??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize