We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize