new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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