I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
