garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize