You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
