I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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