What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
