slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
