you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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