Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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