Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
