Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
