So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
