Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize