dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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