thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
