You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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