this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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