i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
