Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
