doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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