Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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