So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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