Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
