Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
tell me about the eggs
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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