Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize