Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
