he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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