So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
