What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
