I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
