ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
