if i died would you start the facebook group?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can't talk, ducks in the car
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
