I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
