i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Dick very happy bro
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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