If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
