I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I need moral support for this bender
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
