...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you win again, gameday.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize