And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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