I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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