True but thats because hes a fetus.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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